26 Aug

I have so many vivid memories of being incredibly bored as a child.  Sure growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s were halcyon days for many things.  The music scene was wonderfully vibrant and packed with passion, inventiveness and emerging icons.  Young people were possibly more politically engaged in their environment than they are now and we certainly felt that we could change politicians policies on everything from nuclear disarmament  to apartheid and we did make a change.  

The Problem being though, we could fall into the trap of thinking that those years were idyllic to be young and that life has become so much more caught up with technology and interacting via a phone, tablet or laptop screen that nobody really communicates any more.  Which of course is true,to an extent.  But what about the merits?  If social networking and the internet is so awful, then how come so many of us are so hooked and almost reliant on it on a daily basis?  You can’t un-invent the wheel, it’s here to stay.

So let’s just stop for a bit and really try and remember some of the negatives about growing up without the internet, Facebook and Twitter.  I clearly remember having a blue plastic transistor radio that had a white sticky one eared earpiece that allowed my solitary ear to listen to an unbearably crackly radio Luxembourg whilst going to bed early due to sheer boredom.  If I was a similar age today, I would be able to keep in contact with my friends via Facebook.  This  would have been wonderful as the school I went to we were drawn from such a large catchment area you could be up to twenty miles away from your friends.

I could also have tweeted all my favourite pop stars.  Just imagine for one moment if Twitter had been around when the Sex Pistols had emerged or when Boy George had actually been at the height of Culture Club.  All that drama with Jon Moss played out on Twitter, the horror at his first appearance on Top of the Pops.   We are often misguidedly nostalgic about the past, let’s just imagine if we could combine the best of the present and the past!

 The possibilities are endless.  So this got me to thinking about even more outlandish Twitter scenarios.  So just grant me a little madness.  Imagine if Twitter had been available in the 1960’s.  All those stars that died before the social media explosion.  What would they have been like?  Maybe something like this…..


Voice over:  ‘AND ACTION’ 

Character #1:  (thick northern accent)

‘It’s like this lad, that grammar school has given you fancy ideas, but you’re still a miner’s son and in their eyes you will only ever be fit for t’pit’.

Character #2: (slightly less thick northern accent)

‘You don’t get it do you dad, it’s 1962 times are changing, I’m going to be somebody these hands are for writing not slag heaps ‘.

 Voice over:   ‘AND CUT’ 

Character #1: (now with posh theatrical accent)

 ‘Darling you were wonderful, loving the northern accent, could almost smell the whippet excrement on your clogs’.

Character #2 : (also now posh theatrical accent)

‘Thank-you sweetie, called Larry Olivier last week and he gave me some pointers’

Character #1:

‘Oh dear dear Lal, does he follow you on Twitter’?

Character #2:

 (pause) ‘No…you’?

Character #1

‘Oh yes babe, Facebook too, even gives me the odd poke now and then’. 

Character #2 

‘Gielgud follows me too so does Ralph, darling Ralph poor thing he’s not quite mastered the hash tag yet, but he’s a game old thing and nothing if not belligerent’.

Character #1

‘Between you and me I had a tragically embarrassing tweet yesterday from Noel Coward, the poor love, life’s moved on nobody wants cigarette holders and cravats anymore, it’s all vests, sweat and roll-ups, but Nolly just can’t stoop, thank God he has Twitter to occupy him’. 

Character #2: 

Hope you don’t mind me being a nosy bitch but How many followers do you have dear’?

 Character #1:

‘120,000 had to block a few, after the hoo hah over my Fidel Castro tweet, Hattie Jacques got quite personal’.  


Character #2:

‘Here we go sweetness once more unto the northern speech dear friend.

Oh buggeration I never got to update my status ……..





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